verbal abuse links, emotional abuse links, abusive relationship sites
To find help, support or assistance in your own area, go to Yahoo's Yellow Pages, input your city and state (upper right side), then click on the Community link. Or, check the front pages of your phone book for crisis hotlines; they can refer you to help programs and free counseling programs.
Help & Support
Dr. Irene's Verbal
New site by Lilac Lane:
The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse by Albert Ellis, Marcia Grad Powers
Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out by Patricia Evans
BOOKS FOR FEMALE VICTIMS
The Emotionally Abused Woman:
Excerpts from The Domestic Violence Sourcebook:
"Emotional abuse: Consistently doing or saying things to shame, insult, ridicule, embarrass, demean, belittle, or mentally hurt another person ... withholding money, affection, or attention; forbidding someone to work, handle money, see friends or family, make decisions, socialize, keep property; flaunting infidelity; engaging in destructive acts; forcing someone to do things she does not want to do; manipulation; hurting or threatening children or pets; threatening to abandon; threatening to take children away ... refusing to help someone who is sick or hurt."
"The abusive man tries to take away his partner's power, while at the same time giving her the ultimate power to grant or deny him happiness by expecting her to make everything in his world perfect. No woman can live up to the expectations ... because they are, by definition, impossible. When she 'fails', he becomes enraged. This also explains why the point of separation is often the most dangerous: Abusive men have a terrible fear of abandonment, and become desperate when they feel they could lose their partner."
"An abusive boyfriend often forces his girlfriend to abandon other friends, become alienated from her family, spend all her time with him, or even ... quit school. The abuse generally starts with intimidation and verbal abuse, including name-calling, put-downs, and exploiting insecurities that are magnified during adolescence, such as the fear that no one else will want to date the girl. It often involves the familiar control issues, such as activity control and isolation from family and friends. The abusive teen often displays characteristic 'Jekyll and Hyde' personality swings ... Young women tend to be susceptible to romantic notions that 'true love' means an all-encompassing passion that allows for jealousy, possessiveness and aggression as a demonstration of devotion and commitment ... even those with a mature perspective, who know jealousy is not love and realize their abusive boyfriends are not likely to change, still have a hard time leaving the relationship."
"Most women are raised to believe that the woman is the primary caretaker of the family, the member responsible for 'holding things together'. We are also taught from the days of childhood that 'Love conquers all'. Many women believe on some level that if only they love a man enough, they can 'save' him and he will change. Those who stay learn that he will not."
Dr. Susan Forward's "Personal Bill of Rights":
1. The right to be treated with respect
2. The right not to take responsibility for anyone else's problems or bad behavior
3. The right to get angry
4. The right to say no
5. The right to make mistakes
6. The right to your own feelings, opinions and convictions
7. The right to change your mind or decide on a different course of action
8. The right to negotiate for change
9. The right to ask for emotional support or help
10. The right to protest unfair treatment or criticism
Search GOOGLE for more sites about Emotional Abuse
Emotional Abuse page