Hi there two-legger!  My name is Alex.

I'm a girl.  Some people say Alex should be a boy's name.  So if you want, you can call me by my nickname, Allie.  Just don't call me late for treat-time.

I'm what you might call a privately-rescued doggie.  My original Mom loved me very much, but when we moved together to Los Angeles, she got a job where she had to drive long distances and work long hours.  We only saw each other late at night, when she would get into bed and hug me to sleep.  I was so lonely every day!

My mom loved me so much that she made a brave decision.  With tears in her eyes, she gave me a new mommy.

Now I live and work with my adopted mom.  I hang out with her every day at her office.  I'm her supervisor.

Here's a picture of me and Mom.  Once in a while she wears black so that I can decorate her outfit with my beautiful white fur.  The rest of the time she wears light colors.  I wonder why?

Mom and I are hardly ever separated.  We do errands together and visit friends and go on trips.  She even takes me with her to her chiropractor appointments.  I sit and watch carefully while the doctor adjusts her back, to make sure he does everything correctly.  I'm very protective of Mom.

Mom and I often go to lunch together.  We sit on restaurant patios and the waitresses always bring me my own glass of water.  (No ice, thank you.)  Mom won't give me any of her food, so I try to make eye contact with the other patrons, and I give them my "starving" eyes.  I'll bet I could get a lot of food this way if Mom didn't keep me right by her side.  One time I managed to sneak away for a moment and some guy gave me part of his burrito!  Yum!

This here is Dad.  When I see him I sit up and give him a nice long hug.  He likes dogs to lick his face but I don't.  I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm easy!

(When he's really desperate to have me lick his face, he puts peanut butter on his nose.  Then I oblige him... I can't resist peanut butter!)

Dad is part of my pack.  My pack is disorganized; we never gather all in one place at the same time.  In order to check in on all members of my pack, I have to visit several different places every week.

I'm the only real dog in my pack.  The rest are two-legger wannabes.  And they don't always understand pack rules.  For instance, you know the rule about how everyone in the pack should stay within sight of each other, no matter how fast we're all running or how much we're all wandering around?  Well, my pack doesn't seem to understand the rule.  So I have to spend a lot of time walking around the office or the house, making sure everybody's present and accounted for.  Mom is especially bad at this rule.  Sometimes she goes from room to room all day long.  I have to constantly follow her around to keep an eye on her.  It's a daunting job, but somebody has to do it.

To the left here, this is me and FoodGuy, goofing around.  I think every dog should have a FoodGuy of her own.  I see him several times a week.  The minute he arrives, I run to him and stand up and put my paws on him.  Then he goes to the treat cupboard and asks me to dance for a treat.

I have to be very alert around FoodGuy.  You never know when a treat is forthcoming.  Sometimes I sniff one out on his person.  I have to sniff very carefully around all his pockets.  Once in a while I find a treat hidden in one of his pockets.  Then I have to dig it out with my nose or paws.  He laughs a lot when I do that.  Maybe he's ticklish.

When FoodGuy isn't feeding me treats, I sit on top of him.  I have to do that so that I'll notice if he tries to stand up or go anywhere.  After all, what if he decides to go to the treat cupboard?

Lest you think my life revolves around food, well... of course it does!  I'm a dog!  But I'm not overfed.  As you can see, I've kept my girlish figure.

If you think I look fat, remember, the camera adds 15 pounds.  Oh, and you should see me during a bath.  Then you'd see that I'm actually quite emaciated and I should be fed even more treats... and tell Mom that for me.  She's a real hard sell when I try to get a treat out of her.

So, that's my story.  I hope you'll stick around and look at more of my Funny Bone pictures!